Longhope has been in the national news lately with the weird story that a man dressed in a skin-tight blue lycra outfit and his face painted blue, has been pestering women on May Hill. Police first received complaints on May 20th, but have now received more and believe it is possible that other woman have not reported it. It has obviously been in the news because of the unusual nature of the story and the fact that the man is said to resemble a Smurf! In one reported incident, the Smurf followed a lone woman who was walking down off the hill, and was waving and performing star jumps in front of her before running off into woodland on May Hill. Another incident was reported by a female horse rider who saw him hiding behind bushes before again running off into woodland. Yet again, a man reported that his girlfriend had been approached by the blue man looking like a Smurf before running off. "The Smurfs" is a Belgian comic programme and television franchise based on a group of fictional blue creatures.
Police say the man is between 5 feet 10 inches and 6 feet tall of slim to medium build. They say that they are bizarre incidents which are rather unsettling and frightening a number of women, and is causing concern in the area, and they would like to establish his motives. They are urging the man or anyone who can offer any information to phone them on 101 and quote incident number 192 of June 2nd.
The press seem to have no concept of a village however. Some national stories say that we live in an “idyllic rural setting” – which we know, but that May Hill lies “in the May Hill area of the town”. The story has been reported in many national newspapers including The Sun, and has also been on the BBC’s website and local news programmes, where one reporter was heard to say "You couldn’t make it up could you?" Have you seen this person, or do you know who it is?
It would appear that the story of the Smurf on May Hill has gone “Global” –
that is to say, it seems to be on nearly every news website in the world! We,
here on the website, are aware that people are doing internet searches for
Longhope, and that we are receiving more traffic than would be normal, as they
are ending up with us of course. They are also searching for ways up to the top
of May Hill. Well if you are reading this, and wondering out to get there, try
looking in our "Walks" section, here,
as we reveal all! We’ve put together a tongue-in-cheek
collection of some of the more humorous comments from these sites. (We
apologise if it causes offence.)
“What do you expect, it IS Gloucestershire?”
“Why would the police think this is odd behaviour for Longhope?”
“A flying saucer might be visiting the area and the man was an alien trying to
communicate with Earthlings, recognising the Forest of Dean as an important
centre of civilisation.”
“Just to show that the excuse of “who would do such a thing!” is a really lame
one, because people are really strange. Stranger than the rest of us can
comprehend.”
“The Forest of Dean is a bit isolated and its inhabitants a little odd....
basically. The only reason the police are interested in his motives is because
they are running a book on what he’s up to, or for them to report “It’s the
Forest, what do you expect?” On the other hand, I wouldn’t like to totally
discount that there really are feral Smurfs on the loose there, perhaps
released into the wild by bored owners.”
“Of course this would happen in Gloucestershire. There is literally nothing to
do there other than cheese rolling.”
“Others question when did doing star jumps dressed as a Smurf become illegal?
At least he will be easy to identify in a police line-up!”
“Forget fairies, elves, and trolls...the coolest sightings of magical little
creatures are that of Smurfs. Or, at least...Smurf-like beings.”
“Women not getting attacked by blue men, police not doing anything about it?
This is the most heinous crime I’ve ever read about, it’s time once and for
all to bring back capital punishment to stop this from happening.”
“He could be a 3rd generation Freeminer, descended from a family who in the
last century were lost in the mines and have evolved into friendly blue folk.”
“Maybe it IS a real Smurf?”